「だから何なの～？！」
kimiko does not want to be disturbed.
woke up this morning to find kimiko playing on the keyboard.
she sulked on the bench and stuck her tongue out at me after i yelled at her to get off.
she sulked on the bench and stuck her tongue out at me after i yelled at her to get off.
may be tl;dr but nayo has pointed out to me several posts in the "this is not pilipinx!" tumblr blog that really hit home and i'm reposting a couple of them here to remind myself not to tread into and take over spaces specifically intended for those who are ethnically filipino.
to reiterate, the following are not written by me but are responses made by filipinos (in reaction to the sudden influx of chinese-filipino requests for blog administrator/moderator positions):
===================================================
chinese-filpinx
from thisisnotpilipinx.tumblr.com:
intra-asian racism
from thisisnotpilipinx.tumblr.com:
to reiterate, the following are not written by me but are responses made by filipinos (in reaction to the sudden influx of chinese-filipino requests for blog administrator/moderator positions):
===================================================
chinese-filpinx
from thisisnotpilipinx.tumblr.com:
Ethnic Chinese people who have lived in the Philippines are treated different because of their ethnicity. Growing up and living in a country makes them that through nationality but you can’t deny that they’re treated different via ethnicity.
A Chinese Filipino, descendants of Chinese immigrants, and who has lived in the Philippines all their lives, still makes them Chinese. Period. If they are not ethnically Chinese-Filipino, their experiences growing up the Philippines are different because they grew up with a Chinese and Filipino parents.
I’m not here to lay exact standards or rules on what it means to be Filipino but ethnic Filipinos, and our struggles, are unique to us. Chinese people are one of the ideal EA groups along with Japanese and Korean people. Chinese people, in the Philippines, run so much of the Philippines economy and polit that keeps ethnic Filipinos at the bottom. In Amy Chua’s World on Fire: How Exporting Breeds Ethnic Hatred and Global Instability, her entire thesis is set up on how Chinese Filipinos make up 1% of the entire Philippine population but control 60% of the Philippines’ economy. This is sometimes referred to as the bamboo network.
“Pouring their all into services of the Filipinos”…? I don’t think Filipinos care that Chinese people are trying to help. Last I checked Chinese people have done more bad than good in the Philippines, especially in the last 10-15 years.
Also: ethnically Filipino, nationally Filipino, and racially Filipino are different things.
- Admin V
intra-asian racism
from thisisnotpilipinx.tumblr.com:
i’m sorry, but i can’t hold back on responding to the influx of ethnic Chinese people suddenly arguing so vehemently for Filipinx identity when Chinese people rarely advocate for us & exclude us from Asian spaces?
as admins pointed out, ethnic Chinese people cannot claim the same racism & discrimination that Filipino people face just because they were born & raised in the Philippines.
OP is completely failing to see the power dynamics at play here.
this is also a matter of intraracial racism which so many E. Asians conveniently leave out of discussions of Asian oppression while rendering us invisible in AAPI spaces.
OP, as a Chinese person clamoring for Filipinx status, do you acknowledge the heavy & often blatant racism of Chinese people towards Filipinxs?
like how Filipinx migrant workers are treated like absolute garbage in Hong Kong?
or how Filipinx are so underrepresented in Asian media?
the endless nasty articles written by Chinese journalists about the “blight” of Filipinxs in China?
& how Chinese regularly (& often publicly!) label us as dirty, poor, worthless, lazy, dark, dumb, savage, ugly… the list goes on?
oh, & how about the move to ban Filipinx domestic workers from HK back in 2003 while Chinese employers abused, raped, & exploited these Filipinx women & paid them nothing?
hell, even everyone’s Azn fave Lucy Liu made derogatory comments towards Filipinxs.
OP, you as a Chinese person have privilege in that you were born in the Philippines & have been able to stay there for so long.
Many of my friends & family members from the Philippines don’t even have the means to survive in their own nation. They travel to places like China, Saudi Arabia, & even here in the U.S. where they are often underpaid & abused, & still can never make enough to return home, sometimes living an entire lifetime supporting their families but not being able to see them.
& meanwhile, as admins pointed out, China exploits the fuck out of the Philippines, from our people to our land to our resources.
China’s fight for control over the West Philippine Sea (or ‘South China Sea’ as you might know it) is one of the most recent & prominent examples of this. They’ve already caused significant damage to the coral reefs there & are threatening the stability and livelihood of Filipinx fisheries.
so yeah, the implication from an OP that Chinese people are putting resources into the Philippine economy?
that’s pretentious & arrogant as fuck & i was very uncomfortable with that.
even going to University in the United States, groups like the Asian American Alliance & other Asian organizations on my campus ignored Filipinxs & made us feel unwelcome to the point where the handful of Filipinx on campus had to start our own separate group. (not that this was a bad thing but we certainly didn’t benefit from having the funding & resources that the exclusive umbrella Asian orgs did.)
if i sound angry, it’s because i am.
it’s because i (& many other Filipinxs i know) have actually faced significant racism from Chinese people (as well as other East, West, & even S.E. Asian people) & have internalized oppression & self-hate because of not looking “Asian” enough, or not being light enough, or having our identity ignored & brushed over by ignorant people who assume we are Chinese because China is like the representative monolith of Asia. This is even worse for Black Asians.
i also have a lot more personal reasons for coming off so strongly, mostly related to the severe oppression of my own Filipinx family members in the Philippines & the despicable treatment they’ve faced from Chinese employers, co-workers, etc. etc. etc.
intra-Asian racism isn’t something that a lot of Filipinxs i know talk about because we’re often worried about being seen as ‘divisive’ to Asian solidarity & the greater cause, which frankly, doesn’t address the unique & nuanced experiences of Filipinx people, who have a heavy history of colonization (including colonization by other Asians!)
now, i know that you may identify nationally as Filipinx & have grown up immersed in Filipinx culture, but you cannot claim the experience of an ethnic Filipinx, only that of a Chinese person growing up in the Philippines. i mean if you were born & raised in France, would that make you white?
i’m just gonna say it… Chinese people trying to claim Filipinx ethnicity is like… transethnicism. especially since some of you continued the debate after admins politely explained all of these details to you.
& tbqh it’s rude as fuck for you to try & characterize & modify the definition of 'Filipinx’ in order to fit to you so you can claim our experience. i’ve seen this happen not only here, but in many other online spheres & in real life & it just kind of hurts in this insulting way.
again, i beg you to reexamine the power dynamics at play & the heavy history & culture of the Philippines. Filipinx identity is already a weighty & complex struggle for ethnic Filipinxs. it takes years for us to come to terms with it & understand it at times, & the discrimination we face from our Asian brothers & sisters has a lot to do with this. you need to recognize that.
alright, i’m done.
i just spent a significant chunk of my free time learning nihongo via some japanese makeup youtube channels (one of the vloggers was tsuchiya anna's sister-in-law!) and am left with wanting to do an inventory of the contents of my own makeup bag, too. i've done this "what's in my [...] bag?" kinda show-and-tell a lot back when i used to maintain a blog so i'm unapologetically gracing the first week of this blog's existence with an old favorite blog post format.
by order of application:
1. olay complete all day moisturizer
my face is an oil machine and tends to produce a lot of unwanted shininess, especially in the t-zone area, so i refrained from putting on any sort of moisturizer in my 20's and early 30's until i started getting wrinkles between my eyes a few years ago. i chose olay because it was this brand of face cream that my grandmother was loyal to all her life and it's light enough that with just enough face-patting with tissues throughout the day, my face quits mimicking an oil slick by evening.
2. etude house bb magic cream
i discovered this product during my first trip to myeongdong in seoul, korea in 2011. i like that it gives enough pore coverage. does not really cover the slightly redder parts of my face, though. i'm using a concealer for those in addition to this bb cream.
3. the body shop tea tree blemish fade night lotion and tea tree concealer
i've been using both of these since my teenage years. i like the fact that they heal while also providing some sort of coverage. i just realized i really am not the type to be experimental with my makeup. once i find something that works for me, i keep using it for years and years until the company changes the formula or discontinues the product.
4. revlon colorstay liquid eye pen in black
probably the easiest eyeliner for me to apply, but it's also the kind that smudges easily and are basically gone from my eyelids whenever i cry or sweat a lot. i should apply my urban decay primer potion to prevent it from happening but for some reason, i keep forgetting to do this. i want to look for a waterproof eyeliner but i'll probably stick with this one for a while because i'm lazy like that.
5. covergirl professional natural lash
i used to use the body shop clear mascara. resorted to using the covergirl version because i didn't have time to go to a body shop store. it works pretty well though sometimes it forms some kind of white flecks when you put on too much of it.
6. revlon love that red lipstick
just discovered how cheap drugstore lipsticks are! i didn't realize how great the price disparity is between high-end lipsticks and drugstore ones until i bought this one on a whim and was flabbergasted by the affordability. picked "love that red" because of the name, to be honest. good marketing strategy, revlon.
7. mac russian red lipstick
my holy grail matte red lipstick. it has been one of my makeup staples for more than a decade now. i dab it on my lips and spread it around with lip balm during the day and lay it on more thickly whenever i go out at night.
and that's all, folks. doing this post makes me miss my old toy makeup kits and the livejournal asian beauty and makeup community i used to be a part of. there's so much fun to be had when you're femme.
by order of application:
1. olay complete all day moisturizer
my face is an oil machine and tends to produce a lot of unwanted shininess, especially in the t-zone area, so i refrained from putting on any sort of moisturizer in my 20's and early 30's until i started getting wrinkles between my eyes a few years ago. i chose olay because it was this brand of face cream that my grandmother was loyal to all her life and it's light enough that with just enough face-patting with tissues throughout the day, my face quits mimicking an oil slick by evening.
2. etude house bb magic cream
i discovered this product during my first trip to myeongdong in seoul, korea in 2011. i like that it gives enough pore coverage. does not really cover the slightly redder parts of my face, though. i'm using a concealer for those in addition to this bb cream.
3. the body shop tea tree blemish fade night lotion and tea tree concealer
i've been using both of these since my teenage years. i like the fact that they heal while also providing some sort of coverage. i just realized i really am not the type to be experimental with my makeup. once i find something that works for me, i keep using it for years and years until the company changes the formula or discontinues the product.
4. revlon colorstay liquid eye pen in black
probably the easiest eyeliner for me to apply, but it's also the kind that smudges easily and are basically gone from my eyelids whenever i cry or sweat a lot. i should apply my urban decay primer potion to prevent it from happening but for some reason, i keep forgetting to do this. i want to look for a waterproof eyeliner but i'll probably stick with this one for a while because i'm lazy like that.
5. covergirl professional natural lash
i used to use the body shop clear mascara. resorted to using the covergirl version because i didn't have time to go to a body shop store. it works pretty well though sometimes it forms some kind of white flecks when you put on too much of it.
6. revlon love that red lipstick
just discovered how cheap drugstore lipsticks are! i didn't realize how great the price disparity is between high-end lipsticks and drugstore ones until i bought this one on a whim and was flabbergasted by the affordability. picked "love that red" because of the name, to be honest. good marketing strategy, revlon.
7. mac russian red lipstick
my holy grail matte red lipstick. it has been one of my makeup staples for more than a decade now. i dab it on my lips and spread it around with lip balm during the day and lay it on more thickly whenever i go out at night.
and that's all, folks. doing this post makes me miss my old toy makeup kits and the livejournal asian beauty and makeup community i used to be a part of. there's so much fun to be had when you're femme.
i finally got my long-wished-for thumb ring last week. found a really good deal on a perfect sterling silver one on amazon. coincidentally, as this timehop indicates, i tweeted about wanting a thumb ring around this same time a couple of years ago.
it's amazing how the universe eventually grants my wishes if i put them out there. granted, it's not always in the form i expected (the love of my life, for instance) and there are other wishes that never came into fruition, but i've always come to see how the gifts i receive are exactly in the form i needed and the stuff i never got? in the long run, it seems better to be without them.
oftentimes, i wonder how much of my capacity for belief in the mysterious power of the universe goes into this. if i don't believe, do i still get my wishes granted? or is it some magical psychological + feng shui amalgamation and everything i constantly think about and invest energy in will naturally be gravitated to me anyway?
this is a nice read on the "vibrational quality of our desire" (link opens in a new window):
As much as we can, we want to keep ourselves in that sweet space of desire because when we start to feel the vibrational quality of our desire, we start to call it into our lives. Rumi says it best:
"What you seek is seeking you."
and here i am, on my umpteenth attempt at maintaining some kind of online platform for venting. i've been blogging since 1997 (before it was even called "blogging"; i've had online diaries on geocities, angelfire, pitas.com, diaryland, altern.org, ameblo.jp, wordpress, tumblr, livejournal.com, et cetera). i've always liked the idea of being just a click of a button away from sharing my thoughts with the world... but the day-to-day commitment of actually whipping up a proper entry after a tiring day at school and work was more than i could handle so i was on indefinite hiatus from blogging and turned to microblogging (instagram and twitter) when it became a thing. i love microblogging! its ease and requirement for brevity have spoiled me.
recent events convinced me that i need to get more personal with my writing, to practice writing posts that may be tl;dr, and to write less snarkily and more gratefully. while this is not wholly a gratitude journal, i've decided that the essence will be based on things/happenings/people that i am grateful for, though i may, from time to time, write about issues and frustrations in order to work them out.
so thank you for being here and for reading this. if you know me in real life, or even if you don't, feel free to leave a comment! look for the button that says コメントする ("comment"). let me know your twitter/instagram handles, too.
have an outrageously awesome day! (≡^∇^≡)
recent events convinced me that i need to get more personal with my writing, to practice writing posts that may be tl;dr, and to write less snarkily and more gratefully. while this is not wholly a gratitude journal, i've decided that the essence will be based on things/happenings/people that i am grateful for, though i may, from time to time, write about issues and frustrations in order to work them out.
so thank you for being here and for reading this. if you know me in real life, or even if you don't, feel free to leave a comment! look for the button that says コメントする ("comment"). let me know your twitter/instagram handles, too.
have an outrageously awesome day! (≡^∇^≡)