Hello!

I've been fretting too much this past week,

and got a boil on my shoulder lol. (The age of manifestation, indeed!)

Today, I'd like to share an experience where two issues I've been struggling with were resolved in an instant.

Issue 1

A nasty thing happened at a company lunch organized as a farewell party for a teammate leaving in December 2023.

Though the event was supposed to start at noon, there's this person who is offen away from his desk (it's unclear where he goes, but his computer is always on his desk). This day, he returned only after everyone finished eating.

I had work I wanted to finish, so as I was about to leave, saying, "I'll get back to work now." 3 to 4 others also said, "Me too."

and as they tried to return to their seats with me,

this person, who probably thought everyone would leave and he'd be alone, touched my back,

saying, "Oh, please stay a little longer."

I felt a shiver

and thought, "What are you doing with my aura? Creepy!"

Since I'm a black belt in Shaolin Kung Fu, I seriously thought about swiftly turning around and knocking his hand away,

but I didn't want to make a scene and he is still a kind of coworker,

and I was not sure how much self-defense was appropriate in the workplace.

So, to get his hand off me, I simply stepped back and didn't do anything.

(By the way, I reported this to my manager and my skep manager later.)

Besides this "back-touching" incident,

this person frequently makes random comments, like questioning why I am going to start a project when he is neither relevant or impactful, at a team meeting.

(which is now completed and being used by other teams).

Similarly, after talking about Tesla cars with someone who owns one,

he said, "I'd never ride a Tesla."

He often makes hurtful comments like this...

While I am still willing to talk about work,

since you never know when he'll say something out of line,

I'd rather not talk about any small talks with him.

Despite this, if I consider the "back-touching" incident and his tendency to make inappropriate comments to be 20%, the other 80% is, well, he is kind and helpful.

Also, in the spiritual community, forgiveness is important, so I've been trying to get along with this coworker and telling myself to "forgive" and "forget."

I also knew this is also influenced by the mirror law; I analyzed myself, wondering if my trauma from when a relative touched my thigh in the past was triggered, so I've been doing Ho'oponopono for clearing myself.

But it was quite painful to let go things like this.

Even when I meditate,

I'm torn between wanting to be a forgiving coworker who engages in meaningless chatter and whether it's okay for the other person to sense my aversion towards him,

I'm unsure about where I want to be, and I've been secretly agonizing over this for the past few months...

continued to Part 2...

Here's a side note about my boil lol:

I'm currently testing how much I can heal the boil with tea tree oil. I usually go to a doctor‘s office to get it cut, but I decided to try tea tree oil, wondering how it would work on a boil.

It was sore and painful the first day, but the pain and swelling disappeared overnight, and now it's the third day, and the inflammation has subsided considerably.

Beliefs need others' help to remove①