(ちなみに、こんなトピックはなんとか・・センシティブ過ぎるとこがあるから、そのとこのため英訳なくてすまんない・・・)

やっぱり拒否されちゃったw

I knew it! xD; やっぱりね!! ははっ ^^;

まあええかーー いつもこんな風になっちゃうからなー (;´▽`A``
Well, whatever...it always turns out this way anyways xD;

・・・告白してから向こうからなーーーーにも言ってくれないこと初めてなんやけどさ;;
...though this is the first time that after confessing they said noooothing at all.

男との、こんな関係狙うのを止めろうかなぁ~~
maybe I should just stop trying :P

もういいから。w
'cause I'm just so tired of it.

高校卒業まで、
I decided that until I graduate..

私から何も始まらないことにした
nothing's going to start from me.

可哀相って思ってる人が多いかもけど、いつもこんな事になるなんて嫌だよ。
There might be people out there pitying me, but I hate it always ending up like this.

私だけが傷ついてくなんて嫌だ。
In the end, I'm always the one who gets hurt.

私だけがいつもこんなに作り笑いしていて・・何も起こってなかったふりしていて
And I'm always the one to have to put on a fake smile and pretend it's all chill.

で、なんのため?向こうを安心して、幸せになるように?
And for what? To make the other person happy?

じゃあ、私は?
...then what about me?

向こうが・・・私のこと好きじゃないなら、せめて自身言ってくれよ。目と目で言ってくれよ。
If you...don't like me, then tell me yourself. Look me in the eye and tell me.

私が友達だけって言ってるのに・・・
You call me your friend? Then...

「友達」として、君自身、目と目で拒否してくれ!
AS your "friend", reject me face to face yourself!

友達として私がせめてそんなことを値してるんじゃない??
As your friend, don't I deserve at LEAST that much??

この男子だけじゃなく、向こうがいつもこんな風に・・・
Don't get me wrong, it's not just this guy...

でも、この気持ちって
But this feeling I have..

なんつーか・・・
it's rather...

面白い
Interesting.

確かに、私は悲しいけど、両思いになってくれなかったから悲しいっていう気持ちなんかじゃない。
I mean, of course I'm sad but..it's not because he didn't like me back.

ただ・・・・・・・
I just...

私を、友達として、彼らが大事にしてくれない気がしちゃう

本当に私を友達って呼んだら、
If you call me your friend,

勇気だして、私の目と会って、ちゃんと言ってくれ。
then have the courage to meet my gaze and tell me properly.

ヒュー、ダニエル、マット・・・みんなが同じだった。

傷ついたなのは私なのに、勇気を出せず、テキストとかネットとかで隠れたり、怒ったり、泣いちゃったり・・・
Though I'm the one getting hurt, they don't have the courage, they hide behind text messages, the internet; they get mad at me, they cry..

それで結局私に友達でいて欲しいって言われて。
And in the end they say they want me to still be their friend.

友達でいいからそういうのを気にしてないけど、そういうのはワガママなんかじゃない?
I'm fine with being friends, so that's not the problem...but, isn't that a bit selfish?

だって、私が君の「大事な友達」や「大事な妹」なら、
I mean, you keep saying i'm your "important friend" or "important sister",
so then...

もうちょっと私のことを大事にしてくれない?
Why don't you try treasuring me a little more?

もうちょっと私達の友情を守ってくれない?
Why don't you try protecting our friendship a little more?

・・・何でいつも私だけが、この友情を守らなくちゃいけない気がするの?
...why is it that...I feel as if I'm the only one trying to protect these friendships?

やっぱり私だけが友達を・・・?

しかも、守らなかったら、相手は私のせいにして・・私に怒りを出していて・・
And yet somhow even if I don't protect them, it ends up my fault and people get mad at me..

友情さえも・・・二人の両思いなんて必要なんじゃない?
But...aren't mutual feelings necessary for a friendship, as well?




まあええか。 Whatever lol.

やっぱりこれが私のワガママの気持ち。
I'm just being selfish.

けど、やっと終わった!
But I'm done.

一応 止めろことにしたからw
I'm going to shop for now anyways.

私のこと好きなら、
If you like me,

私を迎えに来い!! はははっ ^^;
Then come get me!! hahaha :P




っていうかさ、
Well,

私はね、
either way

ただ人生を楽しめたい
I just wanna enjoy life☆



追記: みんな、支えてくれてありがとう♪
そっちはもうすぐお正月でしょ?みんなが楽しく安全に過ごせるように♪
今年も宜しく☆
AD

Mall!

テーマ:
Went shopping today with Takahiro, Aleksey, and James.
今日はタカヒロとアレクシーとジェームスと一緒買い物しに行った。
Met James for the first time today, lol. He's...interesting. :P
今日までジェームス知らんかったw 彼が・・・・面白い。 :P


pictures :D
写真! :D



Takahiro & me :D


Aleksey, James, me, Takahiro


Aleksey, James, me, Takahiro :P




マターーーーーー :D
AD
最近気に入った曲はこれ!
Lately, I've really started to love this song.
歌詞はめっちゃ好いし。初めて聞いた時すごく感動したでぇ~
The lyrics are amazing. The first time I heard it I was really touched!
ってか この曲のために英訳作るのはなんとかいつもより大変やった。
Speaking of which, making the English trans of this song was, for some reason, harder than usual.
それは多分、この歌詞はもうとっても美しくて、英語に訳すとその美しさをキープ出来るように思いっきり考えなくちゃ。
I guess that's probably because the lyrics are already really beautiful, and translating it into English I had to be really careful and think really hard to try and keep the beautiful meanings of the lyrics.

ENJOY :D

RADWIMPSの『愛し(Kanashi)』
RADWIMPS "Kanashi" lyrics + English trans.



漢字(Kanji)

誰かを愛せたあの時の気持ちでいつもいれたら
誰かを傷つける言葉もこの世にはなかっただろうなあ

満ちていて 枯れていて 心はいつも誰かを
つきはなして また求めて いつも時のせいにして

傷つけてきた人の顔にだけモザイクをかけて また心は愛を探す
愛されるそのためだけに優しさはあると
恥ずかしがることもなく それを人と呼んだ

愛しているという声が 泣いているように聞こえた
心がいつか嘘を つくのを 僕はどこかで知っていたの

もっと自分を好きになれ ってくらい人に優しい君へ
自分のために使う心 残ってるの?

僕はダメなの 僕の心 僕だけのために使うものなの
こんな僕をなぜ愛しく 思えるの?

(堪えて こらえて あふれて)
君のまぶたは 僕が 自分のために いつも 嘘をつくたび ただ涙こぼすの
(生まれて くる前からわかっていた)
神様は知ってた 全て こうなることを そして 君の瞳大きく作ったの

そこから見ていたの 知っていたの いつでも僕は僕のことを
誰より何より 一番好きなのを

それなのに それなのに 君の言葉は言う こんな僕に
誰より何より 僕が愛しいと言う

君はそれを優しさと 呼ぶことさえ知らずに

君の いつだって誰かのためにあった心はいつも
どれだけ自分を愛せただろう

僕に いつだって優しくしすぎていた僕はいつも
どれだけの「誰かを」愛せただろう

言葉は いつもその人を映したがってた
神様は なぜこんな近くに言葉を作ったの?

心は いつも言葉に隠れ黙ってた
神様は なぜこんな深くに心を作ったの?

心と言葉が重なってたら 一つになったら
いくつの君への悲しい 嘘が優しい色になってたろう

(I was here to tell you why)
みんなそう 自分の ためだけにいつも「誰か」がいる
(You were here to tell me why)
じゃあその「誰か」の ためにはなんで僕はいないの?

君はそう きっとそう 「自分より好きな人がいる」自分が好きなの
今は 言えるよ 「自分より好きな君いる」今の僕が好き

人が人のために流す涙 それこそが愛の存在の証だ
それを教えてくれたのは君だ 君が作った僕の心は

「誰がために それが僕のために」今は言えるそれがありのままに
生きてくことだと それが人なんだと

僕はそれを優しさと 呼ぶことはもうしないよ

君の いつだって誰かのためにあった心はきっと
そんな自分を愛したのだろう

僕も いつかは愛せるかな 君のようになれるかな
僕は どれだけの「誰かを」愛せるかな

泣いたね 君は泣いたね 心が「泣いて」と叫ぶまま
僕を嫌いにならないように そう祈るように

君は愛したね 人を愛したね 心が枯れそうになるまで
君の分まで 君のために 枯れるまで

愛しているという声が 泣いているように聞こえた
心がいつか人を 救うのを 君はいつでも 知っていたの


ローマ字(Roomaji)

dareka wo aisaeta ano toki no kimochi de itsumo iretara
dareka wo kizutsukeru kotoba mo kono yo ni nakatta darou naa?

michiteite kareteite kokoro wa itsumo dareka wo
tsukihanashite mata mitomete itsumo toki no sei ni shite

kizutsukete kita hito no kao ni dake MOZAIKU wo kakete mata kokoro wa ai wo sagasu
aisareru sono tame dake ni yasashisa wa aru to
hazukashigaru koto mo naku sore wo hito to yonda

aishiteiru to iu koe ga naiteru youni kikoeta
kokoro ga itsuka uso wo tsuku no wo boku wa dokoka de shitteita no

motto jibun wo suki ni nare tte kurai hito ni yasashii kimi e
jibun no tame ni tsukau kokoro nokotteru no?

boku wa dame na no boku no kokoro boku dake no tame ni tsukau mono na no
konna boku wo naze itoshiku omoeru no?

(kotaete koraete afurete)
kimi no mabuta wa boku ga jibun no tame ni itsumo uso wo tsuku tabi tada namida kobosu no
(umarete kuru mae kara wakatteita)
kamisama wa shitteta subete kounaru koto wo soshite kimi no hitomi ookiku tsukutta no

soko kara miteita no shitteita no itsudemo boku wa boku no koto wo
dare yori nani yori ichiban suki na no

sore na no ni sore na no ni kimi no kotoba wo iu konna boku ni
dare yori nani yori boku ga itoshii to iu

kimi wa sore wo yasashisa to yobu koto sae shirazu ni

kimi no itsudatte dareka no tame ni atta kokoro wa itsumo
doredake jibun wo aiseta darou

boku ni itsudatte yasashiku shisugiteita boku wa itsumo
doredake "dareka wo" aiseta darou?

kotoba wa itsumo sono hito wo utsushitagatteta
kamisama wa naze konna ni chikaku ni kotoba wo tsukutta no?

kokoro wa itsumo kotoba ni hagure damatteta
kamisama wa naze konna ni fukaku ni kokoro wo tsukutta no?

kokoro to kotoba ga kasanattetara hitotsu ni nattara
ikutsu no kimi e no kanashii uso ga yasashii iro ni natte darou

(I was here to tell you why)
minna sou jibun no tame dake ni itsumo "dareka" ga iru
(You were here to tell me why)
jyaa sono "dareka" no tame ni wa nande boku wa inai no?

kimi wa sou kitto sou "jibun yori suki na hiro ga iru" jibun ga suki na no
ima wa ieru yo "jibun yori suki na kimi ga iru" ima no boku ga suki

hito ga hito no tame ni nagasu namida sorekoso ga ai no sonzai no akashi da
sore wo oshiete kureta no wa kimi da kimi ga tsukutta boku no kokoro wa

"dare ga tame ni sore ga boku no tame ni" ima wa ieru sore ga ari no mama ni
ikiteku koto da to sore ga hito nanda to

boku wa sore wo yasashisa to yobugoto wa mou shinai yo

kimi no itsudatte dareka no tame ni atta kokoro wa kitto
sonna jibun wo aishita no darou

boku mo itsuka wa aiseru kana? kimi no you ni nareru kana?
boku wa doredake no "dareka wo" aiseru kana

naita ne kimi wa naita ne kokoro ga "naite" to sakebu mama
boku wo kirai ni naranai you ni sou inoru youni

kimi wa aishita ne hito wo aishita ne kokoro ga karesou ni naru made
kimi no bun made kimi no tame ni kareru made

aishiteiru to iu koe ga naiteruiru you ni kikoeta
kokoro ga itsuka hito wo sukuu no wo kimi wa itsudemo shitteita no


英訳(English Translation)

If only we had always lived remembering how it felt to love someone,
then perhaps there would be no need for hurtful words in this world?

Our hearts, whether full of love or withered,
are always pushing others away, only to pull them back close again.
And, eventually we blame it all on the moment.

In our memories, we blur only the faces of those we have hurt.
And with that we begin searching for a new love.
We don't care, we do some shamelessly; we're only kind because we want to be loved.
That's just how people are.

You whispered your love to me with a shakey voice; as if you were crying.
Somewhere inside of me, I had always known that my heart would be untrue

You're so gentle to everyone else that it makes me want you to think more about yourself
Do you still have enough of your heart left over to use for yourself?

I'm hopeless; it's my heart and I use it only for myself.
Tell me; how is it that you've come to love someone like me?

(Enduring, withstanding, yet it eventually overflows)
Everytime I lied for my own sake, all you did was allow tears to fall from your eyes
(He knew even before you were born)
God knew that everything would happen, and so He gave you big eyes

After that, I realized that more than anything and anyone,
I myself was the one I held the dearest.

Yet despite that, despite all of that,
you told me that you loved me more than anyone and anything in the world.

You didn't even know that that was a form of gentleness.

Your heart had always, always been for there for someone else's sake,
But just how much have you been able to love yourself?

Everyone around me was always too gentle, too kind.
But just how much was I able to love someone else?

People say that words reflect how a person really is.
Tell me; why is it that God decided to make these words so close?

Our hearts are always hiding silently behind our words.
Why is it that God created us with our hearts so deep inside of us?

If only our hearts and words could pile upon each other and become one in itself,
just how many of the sad lies I spoke to you would be turned into a gentle love?

(I was here to tell you why)
Everyone's the same; we all have "someone" who's living just for us.
(You were here to tell me why)
If that's so, then why is it that there is no one that you yourself are living for?

That's how you were; you liked yourself, who had been able to love someone else
I can say that now, too. That I love you more than myself. I like the way I am now.

One's overflowing tears for another are, in itself, proof of the existance of love
You were the one who taught me that -- you, who created my heart

"Who was this all for? It was for myself," I can say it as it is.
Yet, we, as people, keep on living.

I don't call that gentleness anymore

Your heart had always, always been for there for someone else's sake,
Yet you must have somehow found a way to love yourself as well.

I wonder if I can find love someday, too?
If I can become someone like you?
Just how much can I give myself to someone else?

Tears. You were crying, as if your heart had screamed aloud.
Almost as if it was praying so hard that you wouldn't hate me.

You loved, didn't you? You loved people.
Loved people so much that you let your heart wither.
You even let your own self wither.

You whispered your love to me with a shakey voice; as if you were crying.
As if you'd always known that our hearts would be the only thing to save us
AD