what i learned from one class about popular culture,
love is not included in a commodity fatichism.
yes in short, we human beings would be desparate without it.
there is not room to question about it. we need it continuously.
but somehow i wish quite often that there were no man
so that i do not have to be hurt.
it would not be "can't live without" thing to me sometimes.
i would be sometimes desparate without his attention
and i try to be ok and nothing would hurt me about this relations.
i pretend to be everything is going great by having busy days.
hate myself to always be distracted by this thing.
he does not even know what i am thinking.
it is always one-way communication and we always have to
guess what others are thinking.
guess, do and fail.
i haven't learned anything so far.
i found one article the other day that was all about
how we mentally could step into other's private territory,
there is always fearness. we guess, try and give up.
we can not go through the step of do and fail.
we are afraid of failure.
try to protect ourselves. scraed too much to be hurt.
i can not help but wonder.
isn't love always there b/c people need it continuously?
why would we be so scared to lose just one?
he must not be the one.
enough notices make us stronger?