I am having doubts right now God.

I am not denying the time to be with You.

You are still very important in my life.

And I dun think you should be the area that I choose to sacrifice.

Your area should be no less. (though you really occupy a big part of my life)

However, I have no complaint in it.

I want to find a way to balance out.

I am getting jealous.

I am being stressed.

I am upset. I am angry. I feel no way to out.

我最大既問號係: 點解要退讓個個係我? 點解我要選擇懂事地退讓? 

如果個對象係袮, 我冇問題. 但對象係其他人, 其他朋友, 我就好有所謂.

你話佢係一個弟兄姊妹,, tbh, 我都唔get到點解家人就要退讓?

佢係一個新朋友/未信, 可能我會多少少耐性, 職責/責任/愛心會成為我退讓既理由.

但我feel到而家呢一刻既退讓, 我沒有多少對朋友既愛存在.

這刻既選擇, 只會讓我愈來愈討厭朋友, 討厭自己.

 

如果係耶穌, 你會點做?

我思考中既諗法又係咪正路? わがらない。

本当に辛い。寂しい。独りぼっち。

助けて。ぼろぼろの心にhealingにおねがい。