It's 5.58am now and I'm lying here on this hard rock bed in the hospital with eyes wide open and a needle sticking by my arm. Updating here since no one really reads this blog anymore and I needed somewhere to let out my feelings to.

Fainted this evening outside my corridor and my neighbor brought me to the A&E. great job neighbor. but am gonna tell them to just leave me there next time if they see me faint again. Doc insisted I stayed overnight cos I was having a fever and a very low blood pressure. bummer. tried to convince that I was fine but didn't work. Didn't want my parents to worry so I called them to say I was gonna stay overnight at mousie's house.

I just hate staying at hospitals. makes me feel weaker. but at least now I know I'm in any kind of shit situation on my own. I can't really trust anyone with my life now. I only have me to fall back on and I'm not even sure if I can handle it. but this is THE only option.

Gonna have to wait for at least another 2 more hours before I can be discharged. I need time to quicken up its pace to let me out of this dreaded place.

Going back to who I was years back when I was my best friend and no problems existed. Anyone who tries stepping into my world just gets chased out.

Just give me some peace and let me be delusional and happy in my world. Stop trying to make me into someone I'm not.

Been a rough 2 days..

I'll be fine I guess? I hope so..

I shall be back positive and happy, hopefully it helps my condition.

Thanks for not letting me feel I'm alone in this.


Here I am sitting on my bed, updating my blog.

I recently got to talk to a long lost friend or I would say an online friend. Whatever it is, it was nice catching up again. It has been years since we last chatted.

This particular friend is probably the only one amongst the few that inspired me to chase my dreams back then. This friend was an awesome blogger, Not one that you usually would see gossiping about the latest news, or entertaining anyone so his blog would be famous or what. Just inspirational entries. You must be damn delighted I'm having this entry about you eh?

But yea, just reading back again on his entries just makes me realize how much I've grown over the years. But does all these growing up make me truly happy? Well, yea there are definitely stuff that makes me happy, but there were so many things I did in the past that makes me feel accomplished, and of cause since I was young back then I didn't have that much of a responsibility. Now that I'm of a certain age, I had to work in a line that I don't really like but at least can help me with paying my bills and all. It just seems like a process everyone in this society has to go through.

I would very much want to follow my dreams but does this society really allow me to? I aspired to be the best ballerina when I was in my teens, obstacles came in the way I was probably not that strong enough mentally and physically wise to continue what I aspired to be.
I then aspired to be a makeup artist, in particular a bridal makeup artist. I was then stopped again since my parents think I was too young, so they just signed me up for a general aesthetician's diploma thinking that this would definitely get me a job anywhere since there are so many job vacancies for one.

Now that's I've lost my job, I've slowed down my pace and started thinking again... Let's hope this time the laws of attraction helps.


yayyy my lucky draw prize! tons of hair care products by Jeric!!

some I might be giving away like the rebounding shampoo and stuff since I don't rebond my hair.

there was like a Kate spade bag as the prize too but I'm more then happy with this!!


So for the first time ever in my life, I've won a lucky draw! how exciting right?!アップ

I'm gonna go collect my prize tmr. I don't even know what I won but just the thought of me winning sth for the first time in my 21 years of life so far makes me wanna squeallllllll~~叫び

Gonna re colour my hair tomorrow too~ all these activities as a bimbo makes me happy!クラッカー so I guess I got to admit I'm one *but with some brains*ひらめき電球

I'll update soon again!




アアアア~ つまらない ぐぅぐぅ



shibuya camera app in iPhone is soooo cute~

the bumble bee outfit I got for mr lucky Peh looks too adorable on him!足あと awwwwwwラブラブ

But he probably still like himself in his birthday suit. べーっだ!

ok there's gonna be short updates like this in the future.. XD


I was thinking about shutting this blog and just make my make up blog my main blog.

But thinking about it again. maybe not. Since updating ameblo just got a whole lot easier. teehee~ にひひ