I cant believe im writing about this issue again
But I really have no where else to vent out rant out all these frustration
I dont think retail therapy works any longer
I need alcohol
Im angry, mad, pissed, sad, devastated Im going insane
I dont know what Im thinking anymore
these overwhelm of emotions inside me
I feel like killing myself
I feel like crying but I have no more tears to shed
I dont know what/who to get mad at
I dont know where I can rant out these frustration and emotions
Currently drowning myself with songs
I need to get out
get out of this place
I have nothing to do my mind would run wild
I guess at least this teaches me now
now to harbor ANY hope/expectation for ANYTHING
but that would mainly make me sorta emotionless isnt it?
Anyone still check back this place?
Im in desperate need of help
I dont know what to do anymore
Im falling to pieces
Being indecisive sucks
no matter in what situation
I dont know how to tell you all these feelings im feeling
Am I supposed to tell you? Or am I supposed to?
Telling you would make you more stress wouldnt it
but Im supposed to tell you what im feeling/.thinking shouldn't' i?
Do you know how it feels to get your hopes so high up and then poof there goes everything
everytime before us meeting thing sure has got to happen
never once after u join this fucking ridiculous piece of crap company u never fail to tell me no OT before u meet me
So now
Everything if I were to meet you
I wouldnt prepare for anything much
wouldnt get high hopes bout meeting you later on
keep reminding myself that I will not get to meet u later because you would sure have OT
YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS? REALLY?
yes yes yes again Im not the one working and stuff
no rights to say anything
But anyone knows how i feel?
anyone spare a thought bout me?
I didnt spare a thought bout you?
how many times have u NOT have OT when we are meeting?
I really want us to work out
it's either a break it or make it situation right now
I dont know how long i can take this any longer
She says to ask you to spend a day with me just go out enjoy have fun
Do you have time to even do that?
Just a day?
No talking bout your god-dammed work, cosplay, props.
Do you?
Everyday without fail you'll go back home and tell me bout yr work
bout ivy, peiling, zhisheng, jason, keith
Dude I dont give a fuck shit about. I really dont
I care more about you than those people
Maybe Im just jealous that they get to see you more often than I do within a week, or even a day
This gets even more pathetic when I realise that im actually really lonely
sad life me I have no friends i just realise
I dont communicate with them
I dont know how to
I feel inferior
I dont dare to cry infront of other people
because i feel ugly
She says to find a day, plan a time specifically, both of us go out together and have fun
I ask do what
she says ecp with a few friend
me: Been there done that
then Karaoke?
me: not like i dont want to, suggested plenty of times but he dont seem favorable of it
zoo?
me: been there before too
uss?
me: costly and i dont know if he wanna go
There you go.
im really tired
tired about this
I dont wanan write anymore
There isnt any point
it doesnt solve anything
First you told me it's only these 2 weeks
then you told me it will only be for the month
And then you tell me it is like this because it's april
FUCK LA SMLJ IS THIS?!
serious wtf is wrong with the company?
wouldnt the ppl die from working OT?
So lack of ppl doing shit can hire more people?
the amount you're paying for OT is enough to hire more ppl no?
I wanna isolate from the world.
I dont wanna heard anymore bad news
im losing control of myself
