Well folks, American Thanksgiving is just around the corner, so let's dedicate this Funtastic Friday entry to one of the main pieces of the meal ...
Now we sell Butterball Turkeys (as well as a nice array of thanksgiving meal goodies) and you can do with them whatever you like. More often than not you should thaw your turkey first. While there are definitely methods to avoid when defrosting a turkey (for example, thawing at room temperature, thawing in a microwave, thawing in cold water), and ideal methods for defrosting (for example thawing in the refrigerator), they're not exactly fun and entertaining methods.
So here are five methods of defrosting a turkey that are a bit more interesting, (but should still probably be avoided if you're hungry). I should point out that no scientific research has been done in the development of these methods.
1. Take your turkey out all night
Turkey's are social creatures and are cold and lonely when they're away from friends. So take them out for a night on the tiles, they'll soon warm up and start to thaw. You could even take them into a really crowded bar and that'll definitely get them warmed up.
2. Turkey conkers
Take two frozen turkeys, tie them up with rope, and have a good old fashioned game of conkers! For those not from the UK, or not familiar with the game, it's normally played with horse-chestnuts, and the last conker intact is the winner. In this case the force of the two turkeys smashing into each other generates heat, and thaws the two birds.
3. Put a jumper on it
The British government has (apparently) recently advised people to cut their energy bills by simple putting jumpers on. If it's good enough for David Cameron (prime minister, not film director) then it's good enough for our frozen birds.
4. Send it to the North Pole
Make your frozen bird know what the REAL cold is like. Send it to the North Pole and when it comes back it'll realise it's in a much warmer place. Forget thawing, it'll probably start sweating! If that's a bit out of your price range, you could try Hokkaido, just be sure to pick up some butter.
5. Sit on it
Think back to when the bird was still in its egg. Mother perched above providing warth and affection. All you have to do to recreate this special moment is to perch your buttocks atop of your bird and wait ... maybe finish a crossword. Be warned, wear trousers!