Come with me and you'll see

This is Judas, my new pet:


I found her on friday 13th

I have the opportunity to create a new golden pendant.

I don't know yet which materials I'll chose (white or yellow gold, stones, glass, etc.). For the moment, I'm working on a possible design. Of course, it will be a phoenix.

So here is what I did this night while I couldn't sleep.
(WARNING: huge picture spam xD)

1) It's my favorite. It's fire wings would be all cut off, with a lot of tiny empty spaces, very Art Nouveau. The phoenix body could be filled either with little glass gems or with a plain moon stone. The feathers reminding of peacock's would be decorated with stones too.

2) A phoenix holding a heart. The heart will probably be a moon stone and the phoenix in 3D

3) It's a empty circle crossed by the flying phoenix. This one would be plenty smooth gold, with only three stones (one on each feather of the tail).

4) This phoenix is supposed to design a "9". It would have been whole in gold in 3D, but I won't realise this one as I don't like it much.
5) Is a phoenix holding a stone (probably a moon stone). Maybe if I work a bit more on it's tail and face it could make it... I need more details, I want it to be more real.

6) A feather, with a lot of empty cut off spaces. It's inspired by a peacock feather but the to (which is on the bottom) turns into flames (with empty cut off spaces too).

7) Very fragile and thin, the body would be filled with one plain stone while the feathers tips would be made of tiny collored glass gems.
8) Art Nouveau again. With only two stones, I guess they may be the same and may probably be made of glass (here th moon stone wouldn't fit, it would make the design to massive).

9) First supposed to be a brooch, then a tattoo design, finally it ends as a pendant project xD Full of empty cut off spaces again (Art Nouveau style again). There are fiew gems: one that would feel the body (crystal or glass gem), 2 pearls or the feather inside the circle, one on the tail and one final gem on the tip of the tail.

10) 3D purelly fire bird, not of gold but metal and completly filled with little red glass gems (this design comes from Final Fantasy)

And there are probably more to come... I will keep on drawing since I make up my mind. But for the moment, those I like the most are 1, 8 and 9.

...has to go down.

My luck is down.
My dad lost his job.
As me and my mom are the only ones who earn money to live now, I have to stay with them a bit more... probably fiew months.
That means, no London until at least January/February.
And that, that means no Tokyo until June/July.
Because even if I go to London, I'll give a half of my salary to my parents, to help them so I won't save that much in the end....

I'm down, so so so so so down,
I know I'll fight, I know I'll win but... it will take so much time...
And just as last year, I doubt beeing strong enough to stand one more year here...
Because of what I think of this place and it's people and also... because there is none for me here.

My parents, my friends, everyone is repeating me to give up on Tokyo.
In spite of that I'm still fighting.
There were only two people able to understand me: one here and one in Japan.
The one here is just to busy to pay attention to my despair.
The other one, the only heart that was REALLY supporting me... I stabbed it.
That's just me.
Once somebody cut me, it's like I take the knife of his hands and keep on stabbing me by myself...

I can't make it on my own this time.
And now again, I miss you so bad it hurts inside.
And you... you don't even know.

This is my life...

Went shopping today, cause I need a warn coat and shoes for London.
So I bought these:




There is also a coat but I can't really take picture of it as it's black :/

And next thing I'll buy will be this AMAZING watch!


ZEBRAWATCH
Ok, I'm obsessed
I usually hate watches but I had something like love at first sight for this one

This is how I work actually. I'm very picky and don't buy anything since I don't have such a "love at first sight" feeling. It's the same with people... this is probably why my last relation didn't work... However ^-^

OMG
Now it's Jared's turn!
I just realise 30 Seconds to Mars logo is... a PHOENIX!!!


First I was like "naah, it's just a random bird thing "
But I checked it out and actually it's not!!
And knowing the opinions of the band, this symbol is really meaningful...
So cool

And as I was totally in their music again after such a discover, I checked the band's MySpace where there was another surprise...

Guys, be sure I'm buying this album

Usually, signs, coincidences and all that... I don't like it, cause I believe in it and concider them as messages such as "you have no choice but to follow the way Somebody chose for you" and it really confuses me.

But here, for once, I'm like "mwahahaha, dudes, we are connected And in fact, we are. Cause Jared Leto is an ideal I want to reach: same as him, I wanna try a lot of different Arts, cause I think only art can improve our humanity. Perhaps, he is also a guy who has very interesting opinions, even if some are different from mine, that doesn't change the fact they're interesting.

Yep, for once, I'm hapy bout the signs