i miss you so much that i'm getting crazy.
i wanna talk to you.
but i want you to talk to me first... so that i can feel you take even slightest care of me.
i wanna wait. wait until i'll be there again.
but here... i'm lost. i'm lost in darkness. drawning. drawning in my own feelings.
it's so painful. it's breaking me into pieces.
i hate this. i hate my being this uneasy. doubtful. unconfident.
i'm trying. trying to believe myself. believe that it's different this time.
not gonna end with nothing as usual.
something.... something special.
i'll try not to end it by my own hands again.
all the memories I have shared with you.... were too beautiful. too peaceful.
wanna stick to them... keeping them and doing nothing anymore might let them remain beautiful.
but i know that i have to go forward. even if i end up ruining them.
there's always something we can't get no matter how hard we do our best.
then, what we should do is to accept the reality lying in front of us.
i'm thinking.... constantly thinking.
have i done my best? certainly i have done more that i thought i could. but still, this is not me. i'm not gonna give you up.
before i try everything i can do. i'll be the best me ever.
it hurts. it hurts more than ever.
i'll bear. be patient. be honest. and be smiling.
i'm here for you.