I am going to kill myself now. Good bye and have a nice fucking day.

I got rejected by TASP today.

I have the strongest urge to jump off the balcony right now.

I am such a failure and a disappointment.

I've let everyone down. And now they'll all look at me like I'm worthless and useless and pathetically stupid and all those nice things (not that I'm not because yeah I'll admit this, I probably am).

I feel like I've wasted all the motivation and advice and help that everyone's given me. Sure, you can't please everyone but it's not like I was doing this app for myself anyway. It was to show everyone else who had been looking down on me that I had some kind of hidden potential and I was just waiting for the right moment to strike.

Fuck this shit I'm going to go eat ice cream.

To do list:
- study for bio
- write lit profile

Happy list:
- really good nap in lit
- first choice book for gender role study
- no assigned seats in MTAP

Sorry, I just feel really crappy right now. Expect this feeling to go away in about a week or so.

Currently addicted to this song. It's so catchy :D

In two days, a sixth of 2012 will already have gone by. Time passes quickly when you're having fun, I guess.

Today was pretty good. We were assigned a project in French and I'm really glad to say that I have no problems with the people in my group. They're all my friends, and I did last year's project with two of the people in my group, so we're all on really good terms. It feels like everyone's going to work really well together, and hopefully this time everyone can take part in making food (unlike the last two years when it was just me and the other girl).

We did a lab in bio today and it's the first time I've ever became this pissed in class. I did the entire lab on my own, from retrieving our extracts to cleaning up and resetting the lab set-up. While I was busy pipetting the yeast and E. Coli samples and running around looking for the incubator, the rest of my group just sat around wasting matches on the bunsen burner. Who wouldn't be mad?

For MTAP, the teacher assigned us seats, so I couldn't sit next to my friend like I usually do. The guy next to me, was trying to flirt with me, I think. And me being me, I didn't know that he was flirting with me until someone pointed it out after class. For a while I was throwing paper airplanes at my friend and then the teacher caught me and it was publicly humiliating.

In other news, I really need to stop liking someone. I'm obviously wasting my time and energy on something that won't even matter to anyone, and I should probably spend more time on homework anyway.

Sorry, I've just been really stressed lately.

To do list:
- do calc hw
- write up a quiz on French vocab
- read some stuff for tomorrow's APUSH DBQ
- finish Week 6
- work on profile for lit
- stop being awkward
- start on YLC app and mail in the check before the postmark deadline and get a teacher to write my rec letter

Happy list:
- awesome group! :D
- MTAP for a while before things got awkward

FYEAH I'M DONE WITH MY HOMEWORK

Well, kind of. We had our unit 6 test this morning and I turned in my annotated bibliography half an hour ago. Ish.

I think that it's amazing how one person can affect me so much, just by stepping into my life. That hasn't happened in a while, so I'm really liking this right now.

To-do list:
- start calc hw and hopefully finish
- bs some stuff for French
- start on AP week 6
- read psych

Today's happy list:
- NEW SEATS IN FRENCH FYEAHHHH
- seeing someone again the first time since break