So I've been 29 for a week now. It took me seven bloody days to accept this sad truth and, like, realize it's real. Next year it's 30 man, wow. I didn't die at 27 as expected, I'm a bit disappointed, indeed, it means I'm not the genius I was sured I was. Sucks. If I have to tell you the truth, I've never thought, as a teenager, that I would be where I am now at this age. That means, basically nowhere a grown up woman in this stupid society should be. I still live by my own rules and follow my own morals, I'm still, somehow, free, and glad, if you ask me. The past ten years have been amazing. You know, just AMAZING. Ten years ago at this time I was already back from my first trip to London. I had no idea what was to come next, no fucking idea. Ten years ago I was totally different, if you met me back then you would be surprised to see what I've become today. I was scared, angry, I was really an outcast, I was kind of uneducated when it came to social skills and emotions and everything. I was even more shy than now and I used to keep everything bottled up inside until the point where I couldn't take it anymore and man, you think I'm scary now when I get mad, you should have seen me ten years ago. I was the kind of person to stop talking to people when I felt they did something wrong to me. I was like, fine, you're out, and from one day to the other I would stop talking to them, completely. There was no room for second chances, not to talk about dialogue. I was in my own world, if you wanted to be part of it you had to follow my rules, the problem was I didn't explain those rules in the first place, so it was a lil' hard dealing with me. Yet there were a few people who managed, and made my teenage angry days actually cool. I'm so thankful I have some really cool memories from high school, I used to hate it because of my anxiety problem (I only recently found out it was because of it that I was always sick as a kid, can you imagine?), but if I look back, there were a few fuckers who made it worth it to wake up in the morning, get ready and get there (I was always late, in fact I was kind of friend with the principal because when I knew I was too late I didn't even go to class, I went first to his office lol he used to call me by my first name, haha! He was cool!). Also a few teachers were cool, I'm forever thankful I had those couple-maybe three really badass teachers, I'll never forget them, some crazy people ha!
But I have to say, I'm not keeping in touch with anyone from back then. Partly because I'm terrible at this kind of social things, partly because we didn't really have anything in common besides school stuff and relationships and whatever. In fact, I found my true self outside school. I've met this bunch of crazy people who thaught me it's cool to be different, it's cool to stand out, it's cool to follow your own rules in life. It started with a few fuckers, it ended with people from the most different cultural background and environment and shit. I lost a lot of friends along the way, but I'm not sorry, because not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever, some people are just there to teach you a lesson, it can take one night as well as three days or six months. I rememebr each and everyone, and I'm thankful even to the psychos, to the liars, to the backstabbers, because I realized humans are small and make mistakes and we are all so imperfect and it's OK to forgive. Everyone has a story and if we don't get along fine, we can still be civil. But I'm most thankful to the ones who are still there after so many years, they've seen my bad sides, they know I'm not perfect, they know I can be extremely hard to handle, but still they're there and they love me (or at least pretend to love me lol) no matter what. What's most important, they respect me. It's also thanks to those people if I'm the person I am today, if I've grown up and if I took some risk in life that made me enjoy it and well, collect so many fun memories. If you're one of those people well, I'm no good at expressing my feelings, but if I'm still hanging around after a decade (or well, even after a couple of years lol), chances are I love you and respect you and I'm grateful. I don't know what's gonna happen in the following ten years, but memories remain and they're pretty cool man! So thank you for making my first part of my adult life worth remembering